September 07, 2018

[The video at the end of this post contains explicit content. PARENTAL advisory suggested]

WHEW! What a week, huh? I felt the pressing need to share just a snippet of an idea/ideas that have been floating around in my subconscious mind for a very long while and are beginning to sprout and form within me. These seeds which are being nourished and watered are manifesting outside of me through social media, conversations, emotional reactions, etc. I have been on an active search for a few years now to solidify in my individual core (at least in part and all the way honestly) who I am and what my passion is. What I have found is that I have been trying to answer these questions all my life. The difference between now (almost 40) and then…I’m choosing to be sure I can answer these questions for myself through whatever forms are valuable to me that put a check in my heart, soul, and spirit instead of automatically believing EVERYONE else’s opinions.

I am working on my emotional control but it is a work in progress. Through the recent part of this process I am convinced of one thing; emotions are extremely necessary otherwise we would not have them (everything has a purpose even calamity: Isaiah 45:7). My opinions on a multitude of things I disagree with have a few things in common; one of which is when any one of differing views of whatever the topic is tells others their personal feelings and emotions regarding something is wrong/incorrect/bad (trigger 🤯).

If I strongly feel a certain way about something, it is my responsibility to check why I’m having the reaction I am having about something (I am coming into this more and more and it is a process). I believe this is not JUST a “Christian” thing as far as emotional stability but a human thing. I also believe some can do this, some will do this, and some may never gain the tools and/or abilities to do this. *my opinion-for now😉*

Discovery is messy and re-discovery can be messier. Definition time {🤔 I may start doing videos because I wish I could truly emote certain things through sound-I’m thinking, I’m thinking. Can’t rush God’s plans😉):

*Find (something or someone) unexpectedly or in the course of a search.
-Become aware of (a fact or situation)
-Be the first to find or observe (a place, substance, or scientific phenomenon)
-Perceive the attractions of (an activity or subject) for the first time.
-Be the first to recognize the potential of (an actor, singer, or musician)

Middle English (in the sense ‘make known’): from Old French descovrir, from late Latin discooperire, from Latin dis- (expressing reversal) + cooperire ‘cover completely’ (see cover).


Here are some of the ways I view this word especially in the context of its origins:

Matthew 10:26 – Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.

The words are clear. This means much more that I personally have ever been taught. I was taught (through watching others) this means to expose sin publicly (dang-where is that sound board🤔). NOOOO!!This means what it says, “There is nothing covered that will not be revealed” and there is nothing “hidden that will not be known”. Think about it. (Think I will have to expand on this in a separate writing one day if I haven’t already-I have a lot of thoughts in any given minute.)

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 – Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Pause: It is a difficult thing for me to trust on a wide-scale spectrum (i.e. people, ideas, “facts”, etc.). This verse has been a living staple in my life, “…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (freedom).” There are times where being uncomfortable is necessary to check and remove our fears. However, there are places in each of our individual environments where we should never feel uncomfortable. If I have a sense that the Spirit of God..The 👏🏾 Spir-👏🏾-it 👏🏾 of 👏🏾 God 👏🏾..isn’t welcome, I’m not staying either. This does not mean just hanging around “Christians” or like-minded individuals all the time. The Spirit of God ‘hovers and waits’ and searches the hearts of men. How dare us come to the belief that His Spirit is not in (or at least hovering over) places and hearts that don’t adhere to a specific formula. I never did understood certain formulated rituals (we absolutely have ritualistic attitudes and behaviors in today’s churches *not opinion but fact*).


2 Corinthians 4:1-2 – Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart. 2 But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

Pause: “…to EVERY man’s conscience in the sight of God.”


verses 3-6 – But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, 4 whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. 5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Whenever there is a first of anything there is always an extreme to the range of emotional reactions to it simply because it’s new or different. A silly example: the Star Wars empire we know today that started in the late 70’s. Lots of mixed emotional reactions back then and again in today’s environment with the growth/change of this culture (yes, Star Wars is its own culture just like hip-hop and other things).

We as a collective community (the human community) have strong reactions to change; both positive and negative. Star Wars is a great example because there are some changes from the original which is necessary for the ongoing success/survival of this culture. The re-discovery of this culture in recent years (in my personal opinion) was messier than the original. There was some fine tuning which kept the heart of the culture instead of solely trying to grab new citizens to come into this culture.

What’s my point? I am in a re-discovery season and I am excited about it. Through this rediscovery things are going to get shaken up (for myself as well as for others) to remove whatever debris is covering my heart. The way I need to do this process is probably different than what another needs to or chooses to do. I have allowed myself to be so consumed with how others may react to my reactions (including things I hold in a high regard that most “like-minded” individuals do not) for almost my entire lifetime that it has almost killed me in the spiritual sense. I allowed myself to become emotionally numb because there was no balance. I have not, in the past, given myself the grace and mercy that my Creator placed within me through His unfailing Love. I may come across petty at times. I may come across as insensitive or hypocritical at times. I may come across as an inspiration to someone else just as some in the “secular” world and “non-secular world” have been my inspiration (btw, really? Never understood the separation but played “the game” because I didn’t know any better).

I may lose some readers on the closer to this if I haven’t already. All love no matter what because the point is to find what helps you be the best version of yourself in your own mind, soul, spirit, and heart.

This is a song featuring one of my all time greats who is extremely controversial (especially to “Christians”). This song has helped and is still helping me discover and rediscover confidence within myself to get to the core of myself. I just choose to put it here because I can still be petty but also to show we all have many layers. Trying to keep all layers separated from one another within ourself is not only exhausting but can be extremely dangerous. Ask anyone who has dealt with severe depression. It’s like you’re being torn from the inside out with no one to help you get back together so you continue to fall apart even more (vicious cycle). The reason is because one side of the personality feels it can’t be shown to certain people in your environment for fear of being shamed, rejected, or abandoned. This is detrimental. I survived and so can anyone else who has, is, or may find themselves struggling with this form of individual identity crisis. #ourcrazyisthenewnorm

My attitude at this moment in this season…😉🎤🎧💖🥉🥈🥇🦄💎…you don’t know me.

I do not own the copyright to this song or video.


-Alicia R. Shipe-

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